Moving Forward
by km115
Summary: The news that Jerry hadn't made it hit them hard, but what if there was more to the story than what they were told? How will everyone at Fifteen move forward as the world continues on as if it were any other day?
1. Chapter 1

For the purpose of this story, this chapter begins the day after Jerry's funeral and memorial at the Penny (where Sam broke up with Andy).

I hope you'll enjoy this story. I didn't like the way things ended in the show, so here's my idea of what could've happened instead. Please leave a comment if you have a chance. I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you to SairsJ for editing, and to svugirl25 for allowing me to bounce ideas off of you and work out the details of this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

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><p>Frank Best mustered all the strength and determination he could, took a deep breath, and stepped into the parade room. He could see and practically feel the emotions radiating off of each and every officer in the room. It wasn't every day that you had to say goodbye to a friend, a comrade, a brother. The entire Division was at a complete and utter loss.<p>

Yesterday had been gut wrenching for every member of Fifteen. During Jerry's memorial at The Penny, Traci read his intended wedding speech until she could no longer continue. Her beautiful soul, which had been so full of life and love, was completely shattered, and broken beyond repair. Gail had taken over reading the rest of his heartfelt words, the feeling of being forever in his debt, in Traci's debt, weighed heavily on her. There was not a dry eye in the house, and today wasn't much different. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but Jerry was gone, and things wouldn't be the same.

He knew there was nothing he could say to make things better, lighter. Each person before him was a part of a family; a family who had suffered a great tragedy, yet were expected to carry on. It was their job to serve and protect, and as much as he would've liked to give them time to grieve, Frank knew he had a job to do, and so did they.

"I know this is the last place you want to be right now, and I wish things were different. The world is expecting us to continue as if nothing has happened, but it has. With time, things will get a little easier, but we will never forget our brother. Watch each others' backs and let's all come back home today. Assignments are on the board. McNally, Swarek, my office."

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><p>Andy's heart dropped when she heard Sam's name being called right after hers. She had to keep it together. Keep it professional. Just because he had broken up with her not even twelve hours ago, she still had a job to do. She had made that promise to the board, to Sam, and to herself when they were allowed to stay on the force after their suspension. Her relationship, or currently lack thereof, would not cause her to lose focus. Whatever feelings it stirred up would not take priority over her job.<p>

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><p>Sam silently cursed when Frank called McNally and himself into his office. He had hoped to avoid her today, thinking that space was probably their best bet. The walls were closing in on him and it was getting harder to breathe.<p>

The reality of losing your life in the line of duty was something that every officer was aware of, but he never thought that he would have to say goodbye to someone so close. The myriad of emotions consumed him until he snapped, throwing away everything he had with the woman who held his heart. A part of him regretted ending things with her last night, but he didn't know what else to do at the time. He had never been good at relationships, starting with his completely dysfunctional family, and in the heat of the moment, he walked away. He felt terrible for doing the one thing he promised he wouldn't do, but it all became too much for him to handle, and he did what he did best, he left.

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><p>"You're probably wondering why I've called the two of you here today, so I'm going to cut right to the chase. There will be a car arriving shortly to take you to your homes to pack. Within the next eight hours, you'll be in deep cover."<p>

The shock and disbelief spread over Andy's face, her mouth agape and her eyes widened. There was no way that she heard him right. Before she was able to think any further, Sam's voice boomed from beside her.

"What?" Sam yelled, as he rose from his seat, and glared at his boss like he was a hardened criminal.

"What the hell are you thinking? You…" he stated before he was abruptly cut off by his boss.

"Swarek, sit down. These orders have come from higher up, and there's nothing I can do about it. I was specifically told that if you do not comply, you'll need to hand over your badges."

"With all due respect, Sir, is there anything you can tell us about this? I mean they have to know that we just lost a member of our family, and they're just expecting us to just leave everything behind? We have absolutely no say in the matter? I get that Sam is good at what he does, but I don't have the countless UC experiences he has. How is it that they want me in on this too? And how can I just leave Traci after everything? After all she's lost…" she questioned and pleaded, the harsh realization of what would likely break her friend even more hit her like a ton of bricks.

"I'm sorry McNally, but you can't tell her about any of this. I can pass on a message after the fact, nothing more. I'm really sorry. Someone will take you home, then directly to where you need to be. As for why you two were selected, all I know is that they asked for you both by name. That's honestly all I can say at this point. You will be filled in along the way. Please keep each other safe out there," sincerity evident in each word the Staff Sargent spoke.

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><p>Andy was still in shock as she watched Sam storm out of Frank's office into the men's locker room. Deciding it was best to give Traci some kind of explanation as to her abrupt departure, she headed to her locker where she could think and write in peace.<p>

After she handed Frank the letter, he informed her their car had just arrived. Making her way to the locker room, she raised her hand to knock on the slightly opened door she had seen Sam enter, intending to make her presence known, but hesitated when she heard the voices inside, not wanting to interrupt, while at the same time, knowing that their ride was waiting.

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><p>Oliver saw the way Sam lost it in the office a few moments ago and knew it wasn't good. He had heard the whispers across the barn this morning about what had transpired between his best friend and the young woman he considered a daughter the night before. He hoped they were just rumors, but from what he just witnessed, that small shred of hope quickly disintegrated. Cautiously following his fuming brother into the locker room, he was surprised to witness the lockers taking a brutal and verbal beating.<p>

"Brother…" Oliver spoke gently, yet loud enough to be heard over the sound of boots and fists slamming against the metal lockers.

"Not you too!" Sam yelled, turning around suddenly to face the person who dared interrupt his tirade.

"This has to be some sick joke. I mean first Jerry is dead. Gone. And now we're going under, _together_. You know what's _funny_? It would've been great to do another op with her, but after what happened last night, I honestly have no idea how the hell we're going to be able to work together."

"_Of all the times the rumor mill had to be true. Idiot! The one good thing he had in his life and he screws it up!" _Oliver thought to himself, before figuring it was best to set his friend straight in the bluntest way possible, especially since it looked like they'd be leaving sooner, rather than later. It was time for some tough love.

"You know what, Brother? You cannot do this! We _all _lost someone. We are _all _grieving. But don't you _dare_ take this out on McNally. In all the years I've known you, she has been the only one that you've remotely let get close enough to you. She's the only one patient and stubborn enough to push past the walls you've put up around your hardened heart. I might be some hopeless romantic sap, but what you guys have does not come along every day, and you can't waste the time that you have. I can't even begin to imagine what Nash would give for just one more minute with Jerry, and here you are pushing Andy away. If you're going to be stupid enough not to make things right, at least make sure you have her back, because I swear to God, if you do something to jeopardize her safety, you can only hope Andy is there to stop me from hurting you myself."

Sam was completely stunned. He just got his ass handed to him. Oliver was right, as much as he hated to admit it. Andy was the best thing to ever happen to him, and instead of allowing her to be there for him, or even asking for some space, he took matters into his hands and completely cut himself off from her. When she begged him to admit that he didn't really mean it, he was so close to caving, but he let his pride and fear take over.

Shifting to have a seat on the bench across of where Oliver stood, Sam closed his eyes, bowed his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose, as tried to get his breathing back to normal.

"You're right," he stated, not even having the strength to look up at his friend who laid him out just moments ago. "I screwed up. I told her I wouldn't walk away, and when I realized what I did, I was too stupid to take it back and apologize for my temporary insanity. I said some awful things to her, things I didn't even understand or even remotely mean, and I can't just erase that or take it back. When Frank called us into his office, I saw it on her face. I saw the pain and the hurt that I knew was because of me. After everything I said, I don't think there's anything I could ever say or do to make things right again."

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><p>Andy was once again completely shocked. She wasn't sure if she really heard what she thought she did, or if it was her brain playing tricks on her; her subconscious hearing what it wanted to instead of what really was. The gasp that she thought had been silent hadn't been quiet enough, as the two men in the room looked up through the open door at her, for the first time realizing they hadn't been alone.<p>

"I, I'm sorry. I was just coming to tell you that our ride is here… I'm gonna go…" she started, as she turned to head out the way she came in.

Oliver quickly stood up, grabbed her arm, and pulled her back inside, the locker room door closing in the process.

"McNally, I'm not sure how much of that you heard, but you and Sam need to take some time to talk about this. He knows he messed up, and I don't expect you to just forget what happened. You guys are good for each other. Loss and grief are difficult things to deal with, but it's even harder with what we do. I know this is a lot to ask, but please be patient with him. As much as I know he has pushed you away, he needs you. Take care of him, and take care of yourself. I'll see you when you get back. Don't you worry about Nash. We'll look after her."

Before Oliver walked out the door, he stepped toward Andy and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Thank you, Oliver. You take care too," Andy replied, thankful for his honest and much needed words of wisdom.

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><p>Now alone, Sam and Andy were surrounded by awkward silence. Staring at her feet, rubbing her soles against the spot she found so interesting on the floor, she found herself speechless for the first time in her life. The thoughts in her head were flying at warp speed and she couldn't seem to put into words what she knew she had to say.<p>

After taking a minute to compose herself, she spit out the first thing that came to mind.

"Sam, I wasn't trying to listen in on your conversation. I heard you talking and I didn't want to interrupt, but we had to go, and then I was unsure of what to do. And well... you know the rest…" she babbled.

"Andy, listen, don't worry about it, okay?" he asked, while getting up and walking toward her. He looked into her eyes, wanting to be completely transparent, as he knew that was what he needed to do, not only because it was right, but also because he cared so deeply for her.

"I really am sorry for walking away when I made a promise to you that I would never give up without a fight. I'm not good at this stuff, which is not an excuse for what I've done, but I panicked, and pushed you away. I don't expect you to just forgive and forget, but I hope you know that I'll have your back, no matter what. I have no idea what we'll be getting into, but I hope I didn't permanently break the trust we have between us. I made the biggest mistake of my life last night, but I'm not going to pressure you into anything. Whatever you want, however you want to proceed, I will respect you and your decision. Please know that I am so sorry, and I'll be waiting for you, if you find it in your heart to forgive me, and give us, give me another chance."

Her head was spinning. Having cried herself into a restless sleep the night before, combined with the unexpected confession she had just heard, her brain couldn't fully process the words she had just heard. She knew that she hadn't been imagining all of what he had just said, but she was unsure of how to respond to it.

"I know you'll have my back, but for right now, maybe we should just take some time. I know I said time and space isn't my thing, but maybe it needs to be. Our emotions are all over the place, which is understandable, given all that's happened, but I think we both need to step back and figure out what we really want. I meant it when I said I love you, and I still do, but we need to figure out where to go from here."

"Okay," Sam sighed, feeling pulled between a sense of relief that she didn't blow him off, yet also of regret, knowing that his actions caused her to feel apprehensive of them moving forward together.

"Okay," she repeated, grateful for his understanding. "We better get going before we get into trouble before the op even starts."

Placing his hand on the small of her back, opening the locker room door, they stepped out, walking together toward the back door to the waiting car, and ultimately, toward their new lives, for however long they'd be gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Reposted due to some errors that were bothering me.

Note: Some of this is based off of season 3, episode 9, but for the most part, it will be very different. The beginning scenes have occurred after Jerry's stabbing, but before his funeral.

As always, thank you to Sairs J for your awesome editing skills.

HUGE thanks to each of you who have reviewed and or followed this story, and for your patience. I will write and update as much as I can, but at the moment, there are a few things that have been heavy on my heart. So, here's the next chapter. I hope the wait was worth it. Let me know what you think, if you have a chance.

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><p>Gail Peck's head was pounding. As she lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed hooked up to various machines, she tried, yet failed, to keep her mind from racing. It had only been an hour since she had been saved, pulled out of the trunk by her friends, only to learn that Jerry's life was hanging in the balance because he tried to save <em>her. <em>

She hated the fact that she had been so careless, opening the door without even checking who was on the other side. More than that, it killed her that even as a cop, where it was her _job _to serve and protect; she couldn't help the other woman that had been in the basement when she had arrived. Unable to see too clearly, as the drugs Perrick forced upon her were still very much in her system, she couldn't quite get much more than the fact that the young woman was blonde, and likely in her mid-twenties. Even if she had been more coherent, it wouldn't have helped much, as the moment she found herself tied up, Perrick had left with the other woman. She could only imagine where she was now. Without a doubt in her mind, Gail knew that her soul was no longer here on Earth. It was Perrick's M.O. to dispose of the older victim before he toyed with another. The fact that she had been abducted at Andy's apartment when he already had another victim was unexpected. The patterns had shown that it was unlikely that he ever had two victims alive together, until now.

Call it her gut, women's intuition, a sixth sense… Whatever it was, she _knew_ this was far bigger than just one sick, twisted, pathetic man. When she had been blindfolded in the basement, she could've sworn there was another man there. With her sense of sight gone after being bound and blindfolded, her other senses had become stronger. Perrick had smelled of cleaning agents and some cheap cologne. At one point, she smelled body odor and cigars, along with the other smells she had come to know was Perrick. There were two people there. Of that she was certain. _Who _it was, she had no idea, nor had she ever made it known that she had ever been aware of his presence.

Her parents had arrived at the hospital before her. After telling them of her suspicions, they stepped out to make some calls. Although she would have preferred some sort of comfort from them, she knew that, for one, they weren't touchy-feely people, and two, there was still a victim who needed to be found, along with another lowlife, possibly more, who needed to be brought to justice.

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><p>Jerry Barber felt like he was run over by a monster truck. Repeatedly. Every cell in his body seemed to be screaming in excruciating pain. Everything around him was dark, devoid of anything that could bring him any source of comfort. In the distance, he could almost make out some sounds. <em>Where am I? What happened to me? Why can't I see anything?<em>

As he willed his eyes to open to find out what was going on, a bright light surrounded him, and it became too much to bear. Without warning, all of his senses were on overload. A loud beeping noise beside him had turned into a ringing alarm, screeching obnoxiously. The blindingly bright light that he had just experienced nearly blinded him, as he tried to determine where exactly he was, and what had happened to him. Eventually he noticed the plain white walls around him. The strong smell of blood and disinfectant filled his nose, causing his stomach to violently churn. As he instinctually tried to suppress the bile that threatened to escape, he found himself incapable of swallowing, as he realized for the first time, that a tube was currently positioned down his throat. The urge to pull out the offending foreign object was great, but before he was able, strong arms stilled his movements.

"Mr. Barber, you need to calm down. There is a tube in your throat that is helping you to breathe. I can take it out for you, but first, I need you to relax," a comforting, yet strong voice spoke into his ear.

Unable to speak, Jerry tried to convey his understanding with his eyes. Then the man in the white coat, _Doctor Turner_, his nametag read, seemed to know what he was trying to say.

"Okay, now I need for you to take a deep breath and cough on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three," Doctor Turner counted aloud, as he pulled out the breathing tube after having deflated the cuff.

He was safe here. He could feel it in his gut. The same gut that he could now feel had been ripped open. Suddenly all of the events over the last twenty-four hours hit him like a ton of bricks.

_The sting at The Archer. Peck was abducted. McNally and Sammy went to The Archer, while I went to the Cabbie's. The Cabbie… That bastard stabbed me! It was him. He's the one that took Peck, but there was something else… I was in his house. I saw the books on surgical procedures. There's something I'm missing…_

Before he could process his thoughts any further, the doctor got his attention.

"Mr. Barber, I'm glad to see you're awake. I'm sure you have some questions. There's someone here who would like to speak with you," he said as he made his way to exit the room to give them privacy.

_Traci, God I missed you! _

Jerry focused his eyes on the door as it opened slowly. The person who he saw enter his room was not at all who he expected, nor who he hoped to see.

"Superintendent Peck," he coughed, trying to sit up, wincing when the pain became too great.

"Detective Barber, I know you must be awfully confused and overwhelmed right now, but if it wasn't important, I promise you, things would not have to be this way."

He nodded in response; his throat raw from having been intubated for he could only guess was at least a few hours.

"First, I want to thank you for saving my daughter. Without your sacrifice, she wouldn't be alive right now. What I'm about to tell you will likely come as a shock, but this is what had to be done. When Gail was tied up in that basement, she saw another woman there, and could sense another man's presence. She had been drugged, so she is unable to remember much more than that, but the man who stabbed you, we arrested him as he had been caught trying to escape with Gail. While he was in holding, he died of what appeared to be a heart attack. From the suspicions my daughter had, we have been running all the tests available, and have found that he was drugged. The heart attack was not from natural causes, and we suspect the murderer may have been at his house and fled the scene when you arrived to question Perrick.

After discussing what options we have, we have decided that it is in your best interest and safety, along with the success of catching this person to make it appear that you never made it out of surgery. Only a select few know that you are alive, but to the rest of the world, Jerry Barber is no longer with us."

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><p>Ray sat on his old, oversized lounge chair watching the news while sipping a beer, a cigar in his other hand.<p>

"Breaking news. It has just been confirmed that one of Toronto's finest lost his life in the line of duty today. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of the late Detective Jerry Barber. The suspect, one Ross Perrick, died in police custody from an apparent heart attack. We will continue to update you as more information becomes available," the Newscaster announced, while a photo of Detective Barber in his dress uniform was displayed onscreen.

It had been a close call. Too close. He had gone to Perrick's house several hours earlier, wanting to hear the truth. Girls began to go missing. Girls that would actually have people who would go looking for them. He had suspected that Perrick was responsible, as there had not been a deal between them for a few weeks. After all, it did take a while to find a female of his client's specifications. It wasn't as if he could just pull any blonde, blue eyed female off the streets, since more often than not, they'd be missed by _someone. _

Flashback

Sitting at the kitchen table, under the pretense of a new prospect in the works, the man, simply known as Ray, spoke to his client regarding the woman he would be selling to him, negotiating the costs, as they had done many times in the past.

While going over the supposed details, Ray's eyes traveled to the open door of the basement, and he caught a glimpse of a woman bound to the table. Walking toward the door to take a closer inspection, his suspicions were confirmed. Perrick was getting sloppy. He could tell that this wasn't some random junkie he picked up on a fare. This girl had perfect skin, manicured nails, and wore an expensive dress. Someone would _definitely_ be looking for her.

Ray wasn't worried; he was a problem solver. He hadn't gotten this far and made as much money as he had by sheer luck. Taking a small pill from a packet in his jacket pocket, he slipped it into his client's iced tea when he had turned his back.

"I know I haven't found anyone for you in a while, but you have to be more careful. Some of my sources tell me that the police are starting to see a pattern here. It's only a matter of time before they find you if you don't start being more careful."

"You don't have to worry about me. As long as you get me what I'm paying you for, I won't have to make any of these side trips."

As they continued their conversation, Ray had to hide the smirk when his client continued to take long gulps from his tainted drink until the glass was completely empty. His devious thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the front door.

"Hello, Ross Perrick, this is Detective Jerry Barber."

Grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair, along with the glass he had been drinking from, Ray made a mad dash to the back door, glad that he told his driver to wait for him down the street. If Ross Perrick knew what was good for him, he'd keep his mouth shut. And if his plan worked the way he hoped, well, he wouldn't be talking for much longer anyway, let alone breathe.

End Flashback

His plan went off without a hitch. Ross Perrick was arrested and later died, and the detective was dead as well. There was no way anything would lead back to him. The blonde that had been bound in the basement was unaware of his presence. Even if she had been alert, he made sure to keep his voice down when conversing with Ross so there was no way his identity would have been revealed. The drugs she was given would probably make her completely forget the past several hours, possibly even the last few days. And, he was assured that the pill he used to kill his client was untraceable, a new cocktail of tasteless, odorless chemicals. He was home free.

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><p>Four hours ago…<p>

Jerry shouted while knocking on the suspect's door, "Hello, Ross Perrick, this is Detective Jerry Barber," to which there was not an immediate reply. He looked around, and wondered if anyone was there. The cab he drove was parked in the driveway, and according to his records, there were no other vehicles in his name.

After a reasonable amount of time, he decided to knock again.

"Mr. Perrick, this is Detective Barber. Is anyone home?"

The front door opened, revealing the man he was looking for.

"Sorry, Detective. I was working in the other room and I wasn't sure if I had heard knocking until the second time. How can I help you?"

"I have a few questions about one of your fares last night. Mind if I come in a minute?" Jerry asked, as he stepped through the doorframe after Perrick moved aside, allowing him to enter.

Showing him Peck's academy photo, he noticed the cabbie immediately recognized her. "Do you happen to know about what time you dropped her off? It might help us figure out who else was on the street."

"I'm not sure. Probably around one forty five, two-ish?" he replied, unsure of the exact time.

"Well, your meter would have the exact time, right? Unless you weren't running your meter… I know those things get switched off, by accident, of course."

"No, Detective. I always run my meter. It's the law. I'll just get the log," he started, as he walked off to the other room.

As Jerry took in his surroundings while Perrick was went off to obtain his fare records, he noticed various medical books on his coffee table, and slowly, all the pieces of the puzzle began to fit together. His expression when he recognized Peck wasn't that of surprise that he remembered one of his countless fares, but instead, he had panicked, knowing that he had been caught, and with a cop, nonetheless. The cocktail of drugs found in the victim's body weren't every day street drugs, either. They were the kinds of medications a doctor would have knowledge of and access to. Perrick was not your average cab driver, and he could only hope it wasn't too late to save Peck. Hearing him approach, Jerry slowly reached for his gun. Before he had a moment to react, he felt a blade slice through his flesh.

Spread on the hardwood floor, bleeding out from the huge wound inflicted by the crazed man, Jerry tried hard to keep pressure on the area, knowing that he needed to minimize the bleeding, or he wouldn't make it. He heard movement from the basement, and knew Perrick was leaving with Peck. Thinking quickly, he swallowed the pain enough to stand up, fighting with all he had, and managed to place his phone in the unsuspecting criminal's pocket. With all of his strength long gone, he fell to the floor, the blood now flowing rapidly through his gaping wound. _This is it_, he thought to himself, as he closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for giving this story a try. I hope you will enjoy it. I will do my best to post as often as possible. For those of you who have left reviews, a huge thanks to each of you!

Sairs J, thanks for editing this chapter.

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><p>As Jerry sat in the backseat of the unmarked car on route to the safe house, he couldn't help but think over recent events; events that would not only change his life, but the lives of those he loved as well.<p>

He could vividly remember the sharp pains that resulted from each slash and dig of the knife into his flesh, feeling the blood pool around him as he fell to the floor. He recalled seeing Peck being dragged from the house, trying to do all he could to save her, until only darkness surrounded him, unconsciousness winning over.

The pain medications helped to ease the pain slightly, but he knew that under normal circumstances, no ordinary patient would be leaving the hospital, and any travel like the current one he was on would be completely out of the question after enduring what he had.

As much as he hated to admit it, he did feel a real sense of fear, knowing that it wasn't every day that the Superintendent thought it was in the best interest of everyone involved for you to appear dead to the rest of the world. If such extreme measures were being taken, he knew that this was far bigger than he could imagine, and could only hope that everyone back at home would remain safe in his absence.

He wondered which officers would be sent to work with him. All he had been told was that there would be two UC officers who would be joining him, and together, they'd work for however long it took to determine who was involved and bring them to justice.

As the car continued to travel through the back roads in the dark of night, his head was still sore and foggy, due to the trauma and the fact that life as he knew it was completely turned upside down.

"_Only a select few know that you are alive, but to the rest of the world, Jerry Barber is no longer with us."_

Those few words, that one sentence, kept replaying in his mind on a continuous loop, no matter how hard he tried to get it to stop. He desperately tried to convince himself that this truly was the only way. Closing his eyes as the exhaustion kicked in, he fell into a restless sleep.

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><p>Superintendent Peck sat at her desk, her face buried in her hands, letting out a long sigh. She couldn't believe the mess that had exploded in front of her; every parent's worst nightmare come to life, yet still incomprehensible at the same time. It was nearly impossible for her to admit that her daughter had been abducted and nearly killed, and one of her detectives almost lost his life to save her. The whole scene would not stop from replaying in her mind…<p>

Flashback

She had never been more grateful to use her rank to demand the best for her daughter. Waiting in the ambulance bay, she hoped to get even the slightest glimpse of her baby girl before they rushed her away. There was just something about seeing her with her own eyes that would help her to really _know _that she was alive.

Everything passed so quickly when Gail finally arrived. The back doors of the ambulance swung open, nurses and doctors surrounded the gurney. Orders were shouted as her daughter was being wheeled away. She saw it though. Through the chaos, she managed to lock eyes with her beautiful daughter, still strong, despite the trauma. Right then, Superintendent Peck vowed to bring whoever was responsible to justice, no matter what it took.

Sitting in the waiting area, thoughts of the horrific call about the abduction flooded her mind; the moment her whole world stopped when the call came through. Deep down, she knew the relationships had with her children would never make for mother of the year, but she loved Gail more than she could ever express.

It felt like hours had passed before the doctors completed their assessment and treatment. Even a gold shield could only get her so far, so she waited as patiently as she could.

Being able to really see her daughter without the hospital staff surrounding her, she could barely hold back the tears. The bruises had already started to form on her usually flawless, porcelain face. A gash on her lip had begun to scab, and the leftover makeup was still smeared across her face and eyes.

Not knowing how to make it better, Superintendent Peck did what she did best. She shut off her emotions and went into cop mode. Putting on a brave face, she asked the questions she knew were of the most importance. After learning about the other victim that had been in the basement with Gail, then about the other man whose identity was still unknown, she realized this was bigger than she first thought.

Running the facts in her head, knowing that what her daughter endured wasn't just some random event, but likely part of some much larger scheme, she stepped out of the hospital room to check on the man who had saved her daughter's life, while also giving her daughter a break, knowing that having to retell those moments she would rather forget would be a lot for her to handle.

After finding a nurse who gave her directions to where the surgeon would meet her, Superintendent Peck yet again waited for what was to come, hoping that there would finally be some good news.

"Superintendent Peck, I'm Doctor Jones. Thank you for waiting, and I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter. As for Detective Barber, he sustained numerous injuries, but we were able to control and stop the bleeding. He has received a transfusion, and he isn't out of the woods yet, but we are hopeful that he will make a complete recovery. He seemed to be of very good health before all of this, so with time and months of physical therapy, he should be able to be back on his feet.

"Thank you, Doctor. I am really glad to hear that."

Relieved, yet still undeniably pressed to her emotional limits, Superintendent Peck found an old, unused exam room to mull over her thoughts, determined to figure out how to go about bringing justice to everyone involved. The offenders could only hope that her officers would find them first, because if she got her hands on them, there would be no stopping her from exacting the revenge they deserved for what they put her daughter through.

A shrill ring pierced the silence of her quiet place, which broke her train of thought. The news spoken from the other end of the line nearly caused her to collapse. Her daughter's abductor was dead. "A heart attack, but not due to natural causes." Her head spun as she took in the news, only the significant words standing out. "Poisoned. Dead. Half-life of the drug. The killer would have been there around the time Jerry was attacked."

She rushed through the hospital like a madwoman. Running down the halls to her daughter's room, she needed to know if there was anything else her daughter could recall from her ordeal. From what she just heard, the information could very well be their big break.

"Gail, I know I already asked you some questions, and I didn't want to push you right away, but this is very important. You mentioned sensing another person with Perrick. Can you remember when that was?"

Gail closed her eyes, trying to look into those painful memories, knowing that her mother's tone meant it was of the utmost importance. Whatever she could do to help would be worth reliving the experience, knowing that it was over, and just in her mind.

_I'm lying down, arms bound, eyes covered. I can hear voices. Quiet. They're far away at first. I can hear shoes. He walks a lot harder on the floorboards than Perrick. He's heavier. I don't move. I can tell he's coming toward me. He smells awful. I want to heave, but I can't let him know I'm alert. He reeks of body odor and cigar smoke. The bile is rising in my throat. Suddenly the smell lessens. His steps take him away from where I'm being held. I can no longer feel him staring at me, eyeing me like a piece of meat. My eyes are covered, but I can feel it. _

Breaking out of her trance-like state, she sucks in a deep breath. She hadn't expected for it to be so real. It was as if she were back in the basement. The images in her head were so vivid, so real that she could practically feel the ties that bound her hands, the gag in her mouth, and the mask on her face. Gail lifted her hands to her face, touching her mouth, as if feeling her unbound face would bring some comfort; a tiny shred of peace, knowing that she was indeed safe.

"Mom, the other man… I think he and Perrick knew each other. I couldn't make out what exactly they were saying. They were too far away. At one point, the other guy walked toward where I was being held. I knew it wasn't Perrick. This guy smelled really bad, and he walked a lot heavier. As creepy as Perrick is, something about this one made him seem much worse. I can't explain it, but I could just feel it."

"That's really good. Is there anything else you remember? Earlier you said that Jerry had fought with Perrick as you were being dragged out of the house. Can you remember anything about when Jerry arrived at the house?"

Closing her eyes again, she forced herself to go back to that place.

_There was a knock. Jerry knocked on the door. I could hear him shouting that it was him. There was shuffling. Heavy steps moved quickly in the other room. Another knock. Jerry's talking, asking about the fares last night. Perrick makes a comment about how he didn't know I was a cop. I remember thinking that it was all over. 'That was the point, idiot! And you abducted a cop, and now Jerry is going to arrest your sorry ass.' I'm waiting for Jerry to shout his rights as he cuffs him, but then there's a struggle. Things are breaking as they fall to the floor. Someone's hurt. I hear them grunt in pain. 'Please let Jerry be okay.' Perrick bounds down the stairs. He's rushing and breathing hard. Things are going downhill. Fast. 'Why didn't you tell me you were a cop?' I'm being dragged up the stairs. It hurts. My body aches, my head is foggy from whatever he shot me up with. I see Jerry. He's bleeding. 'Oh God, Jerry!' I feel the tears fall from my eyes. I can't move. I can't help him. Jerry starts to move, but by the time Perrick is done with him, he's in even worse shape. I'm in the trunk of the cab. Then we stop, and it's over. _

Drying the tears she felt escape from her eyes, Gail told her mother the rest of what she knew.

"The other guy who was there… He left when Jerry arrived. I heard Jerry announce himself, so the guy must've fled when he heard who was at the door. I know that Jerry had to have surgery, and I realize that it's not a fast process. I mean the doctors took forever to patch me up, but have you heard anything? Is he okay? Mom, he has to be okay…" Gail started, as sobs escaped, her body shaking, trying not to imagine him not making it out alive.

"Nobody else knows about Jerry yet, and we need to keep it that way. Do you hear me?" Superintendent Peck started, and paused, wanting to make sure her daughter fully understood what she was trying to convey.

Receiving a nod in agreement, she continued. "Jerry made it out of surgery. It was really bad, but they think he'll be okay. This is a lot bigger than we first expected, and I will do whatever I can to keep you safe. Once you're cleared, you and your brother will be taking a long vacation out of the country until this is settled."

"Mom…"

"Gail, I'm not changing my mind. Perrick had a heart attack in lock up. It wasn't just any heart attack. The samples they collected were top priority, and the results showed he was poisoned. The man that was there in the house with you, it is very likely he was the one who did it. This is a very well publicized case. An officer can't go missing without the media finding out somehow. He will know you were found, and I will not take a chance that you will end up like Perrick. Do you understand me?"

Shocked filled every fiber of Gail's being. He was _dead. _He deserved to be punished, and now, he was just gone. And whatever information they could've squeezed from the slime ball was now gone.

"Okay…" She had no idea what else to say. It was yet another curveball, another insane twist of events in a long list of them. _When will it end?_

"I need to make some calls. You sit tight, and I'll be back in a while. There'll be an officer outside your door at all times. Please keep everything I have just told you between us for now. Get some rest."

Superintendent Peck walked back to the empty exam room she had been resting in earlier. Pulling out her phone, dialing the number she needed.

Deciding it was the best option to have an officer appear to be _dead_ wasn't something she ever expected she'd have to do in her career. It wasn't something _anyone _would've thought to do, but somehow, that became their plan. For Jerry's safety, and in hopes that the killer would have a false sense of security, the rest of world would think that Jerry Barber was dead.

* * *

><p>AN: I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and getting inside their heads a bit. Please leave a review if you have a moment. Let me know what you think of it so far. Have a great week!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Huge thanks to Sairs J for reading this over and giving your feedback. I truly appreciate it. Thank you to everyone who has read this story thus far. I hope you enjoy what's coming up next.

I'm sorry it has taken so long to update this story. Here's a quick recap of things since it's been a while.

Perrick abducted Gail while he had another woman in his basement, but soon after her arrival, Gail became the only living hostage.

Some mysterious criminal, Ray, a pimp of sorts, poisoned Perrick when he viewed him as a liability, and attempted to make it look like a heart attack.

Jerry followed a lead, which led to him being severely wounded. The white shirts have decided that it is best that he appear to have not made it through surgery, and have transferred him to a safe house.

Superintendent Peck decided it was best to have Perrick's unknown killer feel a false sense of security, thinking that the medical examiner deemed Perrick's death a result of natural causes, and the Detective's murder was on Perrick's hands alone. She also wanted to be completely sure that anyone who had anything to do with her daughter's kidnapping would be brought to justice.

Gail knows that Jerry is still alive, and had an incredibly difficult time helping Traci give his speech at his wake for various reasons.

Sam broke up with Andy, not knowing how to deal with his grief, partly wanting to ensure he would never have to feel the pain of losing her like Traci did Jerry, and not knowing how to cope with such extreme emotions.

Sam and Andy are called to go on an undercover assignment together, and before they leave, Sam comes to some big realizations, to which he apologizes to Andy for. Instead of jumping right back into a relationship, they decide to take things slow and think things out.

Also, please be aware that the timeframe is different from that of the show. For the purposes of this story, Jerry's stabbing and his "death" occur on the same day, and the funeral and wake occur a couple days after Jerry's "death."

* * *

><p>The long ride to the safe house was silent. Too silent. Sam was used to Andy's constant jabbering, but he couldn't really blame her for not saying anything at the moment. It was a lot to process. Hell, he hadn't even fully processed everything yet.<p>

He was on autopilot, expecting to walk around the corner of the precinct tomorrow, only to see Jerry making lovesick googly eyes at Nash. If he let his mind wander, Sam was sure he'd be getting a butt dial from his buddy since he hadn't figured out how to use his phone after months of owning it. Closing his eyes, knowing that at the moment, all he had was time, Sam tried to focus on the calming fact that Andy was right beside him. She was safe, and whatever was going to happen, they'd be in it together. No matter what he had said the night before, there was no place he'd rather be than by her side. There was no one else he'd rather walk through any door with.

* * *

><p>Andy, being the over-thinker that she was, couldn't stop her mind from going a million miles a minute. As much as she tried to sift through everything that had happened over the last seventy-two hours, she didn't even know where to start.<p>

Her thoughts jumped haphazardly from seeing Jerry bleeding to death on the tiled floor, to seeing her best friend completely broken after losing the love of her life. She recalled the pain she felt, the literal ache in her heart, when Sam shut her out and drove off, the pouring rain mixing with the tears that streamed down her face.

It had only been a couple hours ago that she heard Sam's confession to Oliver about how much of a mistake he'd made. Sam told her that he would respect her wishes, but he seemed to want to take back all the cutting words and go back to what they had before. Andy felt like her emotions were being taken on a rollercoaster ride, or a yoyo being thrown around by an overenthusiastic kid.

Time. Sorting out all of her thoughts and feelings would take a whole lot of time. She wasn't sure how it would work out between them, with all of their baggage and the recent heartache, but they'd have to figure it out together. One could only guess how long this op would last, and until it was over, they'd have no choice but to work closely together on a daily basis.

Andy had to admit that even though she felt her heart break when Sam drove off in his truck, she hadn't stopped loving him. She knew that he would always hold a special place in her heart, and the thought made her uneasy. He had the power to truly break her. She had given her heart to him, and in the heat of the moment, and when times got tough, he had tossed it aside. Sam had issues; she knew that. She definitely had her own as well. Andy just hoped that this would be a breakthrough for them, that they could finally be open about everything. If not, she couldn't imagine the alternative.

* * *

><p>Jerry wheeled himself around the place he'd be calling home for the next few months, possibly longer. The long list of questions he had since being told he was "dead," continued to grow.<p>

When Superintendent Peck said gave him the news of his "death," he really had no idea how to respond to that. He'd seen it in a show once, killing off one of the characters in order to bait some criminal to come out of hiding. Never in his life did he expect to be in that position.

Jerry fought long and hard with the Superintendent, not caring about the position she held. He didn't flinch at what questioning her methodology and authority would mean for his job. It wasn't until she mentioned the safety of Traci and Leo that he finally quieted down and agreed to the crazy idea of playing dead.

"_If whoever was there knew you were alive, they might try to tie up loose ends. With both you and Perrick out of the picture, along with the news reports saying that your death was at the hands of deceased suspect, the bastard won't do a thing. We'll use it to our advantage to bring whoever is involved down. If you were to live, he may come after you. He killed Perrick without a second thought. We probably wouldn't have connected them at all if it wasn't for Gail's observations and running every test possible, even though it was supposed to be a heart attack. Think about it… If this guy comes after you, what's going to stop him from going after Traci?" _

_Traci… _His first thoughts when he woke up, besides the ones that questioned where he was and the awful object down his throat, was of his fiancé. More than anything, he wished things could be different. As much as he could, he tried to block out the pain he knew she would be feeling, thinking that he had died on the operating table. He knew that the pain he was experiencing at being away from Traci and Leo was nothing compared to what they were enduring. They thought he was _dead. _At least he knew they were alive. And although he wasn't there to keep them safe, they had the entire Division to protect them. He was confident that his fellow officers would be even more vigilant at keeping them out of harm's way.

As Jerry continued to anxiously wheel himself around the house, he found himself still at war with the decisions that were made, ones that would affect the lives of everyone he cared for. He knew that as hard as it was, this was their best option. If he "survived," the news would go crazy. _A severely wounded officer who nearly died in the line of duty miraculously survives an almost fatal stab wound. _ There would be no way the perp could miss that kind of headline, and that would only mean Jerry would have a target on his back. Everyone he loved, his friends, his family, his fellow coppers would be collateral damage. No matter how much he wanted to be back in Toronto with Traci, he couldn't risk countless lives so that he could be a happy camper. No, he had to do this.

Making a firm decision, Jerry knew he would do everything in his power to solve the case as quickly and efficiently as possible so he could get back to his family. He could only hope that the people sent to work with him would be competent enough to help him get this done, fast.

* * *

><p>A soothing touch to her arm brought Andy out of her dreamless sleep. For a moment she forgot where she was, then it all suddenly hit her. She had hoped it was all a terrible nightmare, but the second that the sleep faded, Andy knew it was real.<p>

She looked over at Sam whose warm hand had just moved from her shoulder, and couldn't help but give him a small, yet reserved smile. Sam was trying to be there for her, she knew that, but everything was still such a mess.

* * *

><p>"We're here…" Sam whispered, knowing that her hearing was really sensitive when she first woke up. During their many nights together, he found that she hated alarms, and woke up best to a tender touch or loving kiss.<p>

"Where's here?"

"I'm not really sure. I think we're just outside Toronto. I know we were hitting the back roads for a while, but after we did the car switch about two hours or so ago, I dozed for a bit myself and lost track."

Upon hearing the officer knock on their window, letting them know the perimeter was cleared, they grabbed their bags and headed to the house from the driveway where they were parked.

* * *

><p>"Detective Barber, there's a car coming up the road. I'm going to need you to head to the back room. Stay there until I give you the all clear, yeah?" the officer told him, as he pulled his gun from the holster.<p>

"Yeah, okay," Jerry relented, feeling like a sidelined quarterback, knowing he was too injured to do much defending if things went south.

As he waited in the spare bedroom, he wondered if the car that was headed toward them was the one that held the officers he'd be working with. Before he knew it, a knock on the door signaled it was safe to move around the house again.

"The new guys are here, so that's my cue to leave. The detective with them has been briefed, and will go over everything with the three of you together. Good luck, and hope to see you back in action soon, Detective."

"Thanks, man."

* * *

><p>Sam sat on the barstool in front of the island in the middle of the kitchen while Andy searched the cabinets for glassware. He wondered who the third member of their team would be. During the long drive to wherever it was they were, all they were told was that they'd be transferred to a secure location, where they'd be working on the details of a UC mission with another officer.<p>

The sudden sound of Andy gasping for air caused his heat rate to skyrocket. Her face was pale, her eyes huge. One hand was placed over her mouth, while the other grabbed at her chest, and her balance faltered. Fearing the worst, Sam quickly jumped off the stool, and reached out for her, catching her before she completely lost her footing.

He noticed her eyes were fixed on something straight ahead of her. Following her line of sight, what he saw nearly brought him to his knees as well.

Sam wrapped his arms around Andy as they slowly slid to the floor. He had to be losing it. The emotional trauma was making him hallucinate.

* * *

><p>"Jerry?" Andy squeaked, as she slowly crawled out of Sam's embrace and walked toward the man in the wheelchair.<p>

Tears began to flow from her eyes as her mind warred with what she thought she was seeing.

"Jerry, is that really you?"

Andy kneeled down in front of the wheelchair and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing, praying that he really was there, that he wasn't a figment of her imagination.

The arm that soothingly rubbed her back made her realize that it wasn't her mind playing tricks on her. Jerry was alive. Her best friend's fiancé was supposed to be dead, but he was very much the opposite. She couldn't understand what that meant, but was grateful for that miracle.

* * *

><p>Sam stood on wobbly legs and made his way toward Andy and Jerry. He knew that his thoughts must've mirrored Andy's. It was just a day ago that they buried him, yet there he was, obviously alive, right in front of them.<p>

"Sammy… McNally… I'm really sorry that it had to be this way. Believe me, if there was anything I could've done to change the way things went down, I would have."

* * *

><p>The voice of Detective Morris broke the emotional haze that hung over them like a storm cloud. Andy slowly pulled herself away from Jerry, wiping her freshly fallen tears, forcing new ones to remain unshed.<p>

"If you could follow me, I'm sure you would all like an explanation…"

The four officers sat uncomfortably in the living room, each having their own sets of thoughts and emotions.

Andy looked between Sam and Jerry. She figured Sam was going through the same feelings as she was, thinking that the man who now sat only a few feet away from them was supposed to have been dead. All the pain, regret, grief, and heartache were still very fresh. Knowing that he needed the support just as much as she did, she slowly reached toward him, grasping his large hand in her small one, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It was a reminder for both of them that they were in it together, whatever _it _was.

"Ross Perrick was not only involved in the abduction of Officer Gail Peck, but we have determined that he has been linked to the purchasing of female _companions_ from Ray Marshall, whose fingerprints we found at the scene. It was determined Perrick was poisoned by Marshall right before Detective Barber arrived on scene. Upon your arrival to Perrick's residence, Detective, Officer Peck recalls what she could only imagine to be Marshall fleeing the scene."

"Looking into his background, there's nothing that would make us think he isn't a regular law abiding citizen. He doesn't have any criminal background, or even a speeding ticket. His cousin, Johnny Marshall, however, has an extremely colorful rapsheet. Preliminary intel says Johnny Marshall works for a sleazeball we have failed to previously apprehend. That's where you two come in," he paused, looking between Sam and Andy.

"Although we have yet to make a definitive connection, we are almost certain that Marshall has a connection with Anton Hill, and is likely living under an alias, thus keeping his record as Ray Marshall clean as a whistle. Officer Swarek, your background knowledge of the ins and outs of Hill's operation will be of the utmost importance when we attempt to send in UC officers. And Officer McNally, you have come highly recommended, as your previous work with Officer Swarek here have proved you both work well as a team."

Andy's head was spinning yet again as she tried to take in everything that was being said. She had heard a little bit of what happened, which must've been what the white shirts _wanted_ to be let out. Everything she thought she knew was a complete farce.

She felt Sam's grip tighten on her hand, yet his face remained neutral. Andy knew that he was doing everything in his power to keep it together. They had been fed lies upon lies, and now to find out the truth, learning it was somehow connected to his white whale…

"Here are the files of everything we have for this current case, along with the files from Swarek's op from a couple years back. We need you to determine the best way to infiltrate the group. Because both Marshalls are connected to Hill, we have to figure out if Hill is behind this most recent incident too. The higher ups want to take them down, starting from the top. Cut off the head of the operation, and the rest of the body will die."

"Swarek, you were the closest we've ever been to nailing Hill, and this may be our last chance to send someone in there. This has to be it. Superintendent Peck and I will be checking in, and you can reach us via the secure line we have set up to HQ. We're counting on you to get the job done. Let's not make Jerry's disappearance be for nothing."

Detective Morris stood up, shaking the hand of each team member, leaving them to stew over the information he had given them.

* * *

><p>Three hours later, a beer in each of their hands, Sam and Jerry sat together in the living room, easily finding their camaraderie they almost lost. Once the initial shock wore off, and they were debriefed, Andy excused herself, giving the guys a chance to catch up.<p>

"Okay, so let me get this straight, one more time. You were such a dumbass that you pushed McNally away? God, Traci is going to rip you a new one when we get back, you know that right?"

"Thanks, _Brother_. Like I'm not already beating myself up enough as it is," Sam bit out sarcastically.

"And just because you're so-called dead, doesn't mean I can't kick your ass once you're out of that chair. I get it. I screwed it up, like I always do. I already got a lecture from Ollie, and boy, is he protective of her. And just to clarify, I'm going to do everything I can to fix it, to show her that I made the biggest mistake of my life."

"Good thing you're nearly half as good looking as this dead guy. You might just have a little bit of a chance," Jerry joked, hoping to ease the tension he felt radiating off his friend.

Sam shook his head at his buddy's teasing, thankful that it was like they lost no time at all. Of course it has been a complete shock to see his best friend standing in front of him when he supposed to be six feet under. He found himself almost joining Andy in her emotional upheaval, but was able to push the emotions down before he too became a basket case.

"And forget about Traci ripping me a new one. You better watch out for yourself. The way Andy reacted to seeing you… I can't imagine how Traci's gonna react. She's either going to be so pissed and kick your ass, or knock you off your feet and jump your bones, or both. And I'm not sure in what order."

* * *

><p>AN: So… How was it? Was it worth the wait? I sure hope it was. Please let me know what you think. For those of you who follow my other stories, please know that I haven't given up on them, and they're being worked on. Have a great week!


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